Seven Months

Written on December 29^th when I arrived in Port au Prince:

Seven months.

Seven months of living and serving in Haiti.

Seven months of unknowns and uncertainty that come with living and serving in Haiti. Seven months.

TODAY, these seven months began. WOW! My mind and heart still do not fully comprehend that I am now in Haiti for seven months. Yet, here I am. This journey has begun.  The preparation process is finally over.

As I look over the past year to when I first began praying and thinking about spending seven months in Haiti, I am in awe. It really has not been a preparation process but a journey of preparation. There have been SO many ups, downs, joys, and heartaches throughout this entire journey of preparation. The first few months were filled with ups and joys as I began talking with Northwest Haiti Christian Mission, Jody, my parents, and my professors to see if this was even a possibility. The doors all seemed to be open as I headed back to Haiti for my third summer internship this past summer.

After spending my third summer in Haiti, I headed back to the States to complete my fall semester. This past semester was hard, so hard. It was also filled with joy and laughter shared with new and old friends, but also many challenges and changes. Completing eighteen and a half credit hours also made for the most challenging semester of my college career thus far.  I learned so much from my professors though. I am thankful that all of the hard work payed off. This past semester, I was also blessed to lead alongside two lovely ladies for two different small groups, one for high school girls and one for freshman girls at MCC. The nights that I met with these girls were some of my favorite memories of the entire semester. I was also blessed to be the honorary “Aunt” to Abby’s suite in the dorms at MCC.

Throughout the semester, I was making preparations and plans for returning to Haiti for seven months. Yet as the last few months and weeks in the States approached, I was faced with many doubts and fears. It was as if Satan was trying to plant every seed of doubt and fear in my mind that he could think of. I knew a year ago when I first started talking about this internship that it was a big step, but I did not know what taking that big step would feel like.

One of the first seeds of fear and doubt that Satan tried to plant in my head and heart was over the seemingly, simple four letter word, HOME. My mind and my heart began to ponder and ache over what this word meant to me and how being called to the mission field effected its meaning. Questions flooded my mind.

What is HOME? Where is HOME? Who is at HOME?

When is HOME? How do I define HOME?

Satan even brought in doubt over my response when I was first called to Haiti. He began to ask me, “So you said ‘Sure why not?’ back on your first trip, but are you still sure???”

As these doubts and others threatened to throw me off course, God reminded me of His truths and of His promises. He reminded me that HE IS FAITHFUL AND HE IS GOOD. He called me to listen to His voice, not Satan’s voice.

Yes, as a missionary, you give up the claim to one geographical area as home. You will forever be in between two earthly dwelling places. Your home becomes clearly not a place on earth.

HOME.  My HOME is with those I love. First and foremost, with my heavenly Father now and for all of eternity. No matter and whenever, I am at HOME with Him. And I wait desperately for the time when I am HOME with Him in the place that He has prepared for me and all who believe in Him. I also get to experience glimpses of HOME here on earth when I am at my homesweetMolehome, my Kansas home, and with those I love.

I am still sure. I am still sure that God has called me to Haiti for these seven months. I do not and cannot know what will happen after these seven months, but I know that for these seven months I will faithfully serve God and the people of Haiti. I will do my best to wake up each day with the purpose and goal of brining God glory and spreading His love and light.

Although, my mind and heart have been flooded and overwhelmed with stress, worry, few, and doubt. Although, it has been an almost daily battle the past few months. Although, the battle intensified as the departure date drew nearer and nearer. Although, fear and worry threaten to tie me to the floor and keep me from doing the things that I need to do.

HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

He has shown me that He is always near and that HIS WORD and HIS calling are true and good. I am going to Haiti technically by myself but spiritually I am surrounded and encompassed by my Father who goes before me and fights for me. He even fought for me this morning at the ticket counter. (See the next blog for that story) Secondly, His Spirit goes with me and equips and protects me. Third, my family and friends who are praying for me also go with me. I have been utterly humbled and amazed by the support that I have received from you. God has used your support and words of encouragement to help me see physically that He has called me to Haiti for these seven months and that He will provide all that I need.