Connecting

If you know me, I am all about relationships. All about them. I am all about connecting and fellowship. The past two summer internships I was blessed with the ability to use a cellphone service here that had 3G. It was such a blessing! I could keep up with everyone on Facebook, call my family for free through an app, and even Skype every once and awhile. In January the cellphone service took the 3G away. I still have Internet, Edge Internet but it is so so slow. I can kind of upload things if I retry it at least three times...even simple text messages are difficult to send most

of the time. 

These past almost three months of not being able to connect with those I left behind in the states has been rough. I've only been able to connect through text messages, email, Voxer and sometimes facebook. I've hated it. I've hated not being able to call my family and friends. I've so so missed connecting with them. It's made me feel lonely not being able to stay in touch and often fearful because I do not know how my family and friends are doing. 

In the loneliness, in the unknown, and in the confusion God is teaching me. He is teaching me to rely more and more on Him. He is teaching me to trust Him more and more. He is teaching me to rely on Him for comfort, peace, and connection. He is teaching me to trust that just as He has a plan for me and takes care of me each and everyday; He also has a plan  for all those I love who are in the States and is taking care of them each and everyday. It's definitely been a journey as God is showing me to trust Him more especially with those I love. It has humbled me as I have had to surrender and trust that God will care for my family and friends just like He always does. 

Being on the Edge of the Internet has also opened more opportunities to engage with and build relationships with those who live on the Mole campus. I have spent countless hours hanging out with the Castillo kids. Miss Beth and I have had many movie nights in her house as well as great conversations as we fall asleep. I have also loved getting to know our staff who live on campus with us even better. We have been playing volleyball in the evenings and it has been so so very fun. 

In the disconnect, God is teaching and showing me how to connect more with Him and with those He has placed in my life for such a time as this. Yes, I miss all of my family and friends in the Stares, but I know and am often reminded that God does have me here in the Mole for this specific time and He will be faithful to provide all that I need even connection with other people. 

Blessings!

Morgan

It Has Already Been An Adventure!!

            I have only been in Haiti for a month now, but arriving here was an adventure! Some of you who know me really well may know that I kind of live each day of like an adventure though. However, some of these adventures were a little more crazy then the normal adventures I experience. In fact, when I arrived in at the airport in KC I encountered the very first adventure. Everything was going as smoothly as things can go when you wake up at 4am to travel. My checked bags both weighed in at exactly 50 pounds each! PRAISE THE LORD! We won’t talk about how heavy my carry-on was…till later.

I was all set with my boarding pass, hugged my family really quick, and went through security just fine. Then at the gate, the trouble happened. They were already boarding people and I had to wait because I needed to have my seat assigned. Once the lady could help me at the gate, she almost did not let me on the plane! I was trying my best not to panic, at least on the outside, but I was mostly definitely panicking on the inside! She was upset because I did not have a visa. I was telling her that I didn’t need one because I will be traveling to the Dominican during my time in Haiti. She called another lady over, called her boss, and continued to check everyone onto the plane, except me! I could see my family outside of security through the window and I could tell that they were starting to panic…so I stopped looking that direction and prayed that I could keep my panic internal. After talking with her supervisor, the lady eventually and reluctantly let me go on the plane… The gate almost closed before I got in though… It was crazy! I tried to lug my backpack and carry-on into the plane as quickly as I could. I was, of course, seated at the VERRRRY back of the plane…On my way back to my seat, I asked one of the stewards to help me put my carry-on in the overhead compartment because I was pretty sure I would end up pelting someone with it if I tried….unfortunately he ended up slightly pelting someone anyways…oops.

After a few hours in the air, I arrived in Atlanta. PRAISE the LORD! When I arrived in Atlanta, I had a little over an hour then I was on my plane to Haiti. PRAISE THE LORD! Miss Beth reminded me during this hectic ticket adventure, that God goes before me and He fights for me. He prepared the way. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will NOT leave you or forsake you. Do NOT fear or be dismayed.”

I arrived safely in Port au Prince(PAP) that afternoon. It was so strange and lonely traveling alone. Although, getting through baggage claim and out of the airport was much simpler so that was about the only nice thing about it. I have definitely learned that being at a hotel by myself is not on the agenda for my next vacation!

The next morning my final adventure in reaching the Mole happened. My alarm did not go off because my phone died during the night! At 7, I heard a knock on the door. Praise the Lord I even heard it because I am not a light sleeper! I quickly popped my contacts in, zipped up my suitcases, and off we were to the little airport to fly to the Mole!

            Flying in the Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF) planes is always fun because you get to see the land below. And it is also SO much nicer on your bum then a 10+ hour bus or truck ride. Upon landing in the Mole, I was greeted by the Castillo kids, which was so fun! On the truck ride back to the Mole, Levi was telling me all sorts of stories. He even told me that there was ham, but I still haven’t seen any yet… Being reunited with Miss Beth was also so sweet. It was so great, SO GREAT to see all of the kids who live in the orphanage again! They all greeted me with so many hugs and kisses. Oh how I had missed those beautiful faces and their hugs. I was also definitely glad that one of the groups in the Mole when I arrived was a Pleasant Valley group and that Emily and others were on the trip! I had missed that girl for sure!

Although arriving in the Mole was quite the adventure, I cannot wait to see what other adventures God has planned for each day in the coming months as He continues to show and teach me that He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL in providing ALL that I need!

Seven Months

Written on December 29^th when I arrived in Port au Prince:

Seven months.

Seven months of living and serving in Haiti.

Seven months of unknowns and uncertainty that come with living and serving in Haiti. Seven months.

TODAY, these seven months began. WOW! My mind and heart still do not fully comprehend that I am now in Haiti for seven months. Yet, here I am. This journey has begun.  The preparation process is finally over.

As I look over the past year to when I first began praying and thinking about spending seven months in Haiti, I am in awe. It really has not been a preparation process but a journey of preparation. There have been SO many ups, downs, joys, and heartaches throughout this entire journey of preparation. The first few months were filled with ups and joys as I began talking with Northwest Haiti Christian Mission, Jody, my parents, and my professors to see if this was even a possibility. The doors all seemed to be open as I headed back to Haiti for my third summer internship this past summer.

After spending my third summer in Haiti, I headed back to the States to complete my fall semester. This past semester was hard, so hard. It was also filled with joy and laughter shared with new and old friends, but also many challenges and changes. Completing eighteen and a half credit hours also made for the most challenging semester of my college career thus far.  I learned so much from my professors though. I am thankful that all of the hard work payed off. This past semester, I was also blessed to lead alongside two lovely ladies for two different small groups, one for high school girls and one for freshman girls at MCC. The nights that I met with these girls were some of my favorite memories of the entire semester. I was also blessed to be the honorary “Aunt” to Abby’s suite in the dorms at MCC.

Throughout the semester, I was making preparations and plans for returning to Haiti for seven months. Yet as the last few months and weeks in the States approached, I was faced with many doubts and fears. It was as if Satan was trying to plant every seed of doubt and fear in my mind that he could think of. I knew a year ago when I first started talking about this internship that it was a big step, but I did not know what taking that big step would feel like.

One of the first seeds of fear and doubt that Satan tried to plant in my head and heart was over the seemingly, simple four letter word, HOME. My mind and my heart began to ponder and ache over what this word meant to me and how being called to the mission field effected its meaning. Questions flooded my mind.

What is HOME? Where is HOME? Who is at HOME?

When is HOME? How do I define HOME?

Satan even brought in doubt over my response when I was first called to Haiti. He began to ask me, “So you said ‘Sure why not?’ back on your first trip, but are you still sure???”

As these doubts and others threatened to throw me off course, God reminded me of His truths and of His promises. He reminded me that HE IS FAITHFUL AND HE IS GOOD. He called me to listen to His voice, not Satan’s voice.

Yes, as a missionary, you give up the claim to one geographical area as home. You will forever be in between two earthly dwelling places. Your home becomes clearly not a place on earth.

HOME.  My HOME is with those I love. First and foremost, with my heavenly Father now and for all of eternity. No matter and whenever, I am at HOME with Him. And I wait desperately for the time when I am HOME with Him in the place that He has prepared for me and all who believe in Him. I also get to experience glimpses of HOME here on earth when I am at my homesweetMolehome, my Kansas home, and with those I love.

I am still sure. I am still sure that God has called me to Haiti for these seven months. I do not and cannot know what will happen after these seven months, but I know that for these seven months I will faithfully serve God and the people of Haiti. I will do my best to wake up each day with the purpose and goal of brining God glory and spreading His love and light.

Although, my mind and heart have been flooded and overwhelmed with stress, worry, few, and doubt. Although, it has been an almost daily battle the past few months. Although, the battle intensified as the departure date drew nearer and nearer. Although, fear and worry threaten to tie me to the floor and keep me from doing the things that I need to do.

HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

He has shown me that He is always near and that HIS WORD and HIS calling are true and good. I am going to Haiti technically by myself but spiritually I am surrounded and encompassed by my Father who goes before me and fights for me. He even fought for me this morning at the ticket counter. (See the next blog for that story) Secondly, His Spirit goes with me and equips and protects me. Third, my family and friends who are praying for me also go with me. I have been utterly humbled and amazed by the support that I have received from you. God has used your support and words of encouragement to help me see physically that He has called me to Haiti for these seven months and that He will provide all that I need.

Overwhelmed. Amazed. Humbled. Blessed.

For over a year, I have been praying and thinking about spending more time than a summer internship in Haiti. In the beginning, it seemed like a far-fetched and distant possibility, even a bit impossible. However, I continued to pray and had others faithfully praying for me and with me. When I left for Haiti this past summer, the plan was in motion for me to spend January 2015-July 2o15 in Haiti.

However, when I returned from the summer, I was so nervous and worried about raising support for seven months after just raising support for two and a half months. I was worried that the money would not come through and I would be stuck not knowing what to do.

Why did I doubt? God has been SO faithful in providing for this trip through you! He has surpassed my fundraising goal and provided me with funds that I will be able to utilize for ministry projects while I am in Haiti. My cup overflows with His faithfulness and goodness.

I write to you simply overwhelmed, amazed, humbled, and blessed. I have been overwhelmed by the abundance and richness of God’s blessings that He has poured out on me through you. With each new letter and donation that I received in the past few months, I have come to the Lord in amazement. Amazed that there are so many people who believe in His calling on my life and my ability to fulfill that calling. I have also been humbled by your support. I do not know why you chose to support me, but I am so humbled by your choice. I know that I am not the only one in need of funds and so I am so grateful and humbled that you supported me. I am blessed. I am blessed by all of the financial and prayer support that I have received for these seven months of ministry in Haiti. I have been so blessed by you and your support of me.


THANK YOU!

Down but NOT out!-A Summer that was rough but still blessed because God is Constant and Faithful.

This summer we were down a lot. It was a rough summer but it was also such a good because Jesus is constant and faithful. He always helped us get back up. The past two summers that I have spent in Haiti, I have faced some hard things. Things that were confusing and brought tears to my eyes. These things taught me and honestly were what prepared me for this summer. 

Some crazy, unexpected things happened this summer. There were things that knocked me to the floor, sometimes literally. Every time God helped me back up. However, it seemed like that very next day I was knocked back down to the ground. This summer God gave me a very real taste of what ministry, especially ministry in another culture, includes. Real life things that are hard happen.  This summer God taught me how to lean on Him and rely on His strength in those times. He also gave me the great blessing of serving alongside fellow missionaries who walked with me on this journey as we were all down but not out this summer. 

One of the hardest parts of this summer was that Jody and Jose were unable to be in country for several weeks because of sickness and getting supplies ready to ship to Haiti. This made things hard. Our entire staff missed them when they were gone. However, it was through their absence that God gave us opportunities to lead and to learn how to lead in difficult circumstances. Our entire staff also learned how to work together and lean on each other to do our best to keep things going. It was through their absence that God taught me some important lessons in leadership like how to handle conflict and the importance of communication. We also developed a great appreciation for technology because even though they were not in country with us the whole summer, they were only a vox or email away if we had questions. We all wished that they did not have to spend as much time in the States but through this experience there was growth in all of us as we figured out how to work together through the challenges and difficulties. Thankfully, they are both safely back in Haiti now!

This summer, we also had some tough times in our ministries. We learned that sometimes ministry does not go as we planned. We had many kids choose not to participate in ministry events for unknown reasons. We had never had kids not come to VBS before and it was hard. In this, I learned on a deeper level the importance of not counting numbers but to pour into the ones that are there even if it is just one. I also learned that sometimes you have to go to them. After trying VBS at the church for a few weeks with only a few kids coming, we set out the next week to simply find a group of kids to pour into. We walked to town and up the mountain where we found a group of about ten kids who were already gathered. We played soccer with them, painted the girls' fingernails, and shared a Bible story with them. This was an awesome experience because it allowed us to minister to them in their own neighborhood. We were able to see a little peek into their lives just by being in their neighborhood. Another area of ministry that we faced a lot of obstacles in was in our Bible studies that we did with kids from the community. Patrick had such a hard time recruiting boys for his boys' Bible study at the beginning of the summer. However by the end of the summer, he got to finish his last week by working alongside our Meridian team with a boys' sex education class and Bible study. Emily and I tried to continue to meet with and pour into our younger Bible study girls from last year. This was going well for the first few weeks, but by the middle of the summer they were no longer showing up for Bible study. One of the younger sisters of our girls, Merilande, started showing up though. It was so beautiful and refreshing to minister to this little girl who just desired to learn more about Jesus. She even told us one day that the other girls were not come anymore because we were not giving them things, but she did not care about getting things and just wanted to come to Bible study. Although this was incredible discouraging to hear about the other girls, this little girl’s honesty and pursuit to know Jesus more was so beautiful. We continued to meet with her for the last few weeks. Some of the other girls came randomly, but I believe that God sent us to specifically minister to encourage Merilande this summer.

The main thing that made this summer was hard was all of the sickness we faced. I definitely learned that there are days when you are not going to feel well but you still have to get out of bed and rely on His strength to keep going. Right at the beginning of the summer, I was struggling with fatigue. It made me feel drained by lunchtime or earlier. It made me slow down. This was SO hard for me. I had to rest even though I did not want to miss out on what everyone else was doing. After I was finally feeling less fatigued, Emily and I received our matching ringworm. We dubbed it our friendship ringworm. After our ringworm was gone or subsiding at least, we all were knocked down again with a virus. This virus was not fun at all. It left us exhausted and sore. It was also extremely difficult because most of us got it at the same time. We really learned how to rely on God and each other through this.

As we faced each and every one of our struggles this summer, we had to choose to trust God. We had to choose to trust hat He had a plan in all of this. We had to choose to rely on His strength because we did not have any of our own strength. We had to choose to keep serving Him in all things. It was rarely easy, but He was always faithful in walking beside us and in blessing us. 

These blessings are what gave us the energy and strength to keep going. Some of these blessings included the wonderful staff that I served alongside. I was so blessed by both the Haitian and American staff I now consider a part of my family. Another blessing of this summer were the thirty-five beautiful children who call our orphanage home. They never failed to cheer me up whether it was just through their beautiful smiles, their faith filled prayers, or their overwhelming hugs and kisses. The American teams who came and served alongside us this summer also richly blessed us. They came alongside us to encourage us and to minister with us. The messages, calls, and prayers that I received from my family and friends back in the States always blessed me. Each struggle that I faced this summer, I knew that I was showered in prayer by my faithful supporters and this gave me peace. The greatest blessing that He gave me this summer though, was His Spirit and His Word. They comforted, led, ministered, upheld, covered, and rescued me in each and every struggle that I faced. It was through studying His Word and through spending time in His presence that He refined me and led me through all of the things that happened this summer.

This summer was a rough summer, but we were never out. Oh yes, we were down a lot, but we were never out. Through His strength, we kept getting back up and out there. I am so thankful for all that God led me through and taught me this summer, the easy and the hard lessons. I am excited and anxious to see what He has in store for the next few months in the States and in the seven months I will be spending in Haiti. Please continue to join me in praying over these coming months and let me know how I can be praying for you.

Blessings!

Morgan

The Mole Summer 2014 Quote Book

This summer because we did not have many teams we spent a lot of time hanging out with the Castillo kids whether it was just at meal time, our secret project, movie night, or activity days. While we hung out with them there were many times that what they said had us laughing till our sides hurt. Since this was my third summer, it was also fun and crazy to realize just how much they are all growing up even though some days when they were in mischievous moods it didn't seem like it. I present to you:

The Mole Summer 2014 Quote Book

Asher- "How are you already done eating?"

Gabe-"Cause I'm a hungry man."

Mikayla-"Quit screaming, Malaya."

Malaya-"I'm not screaming."

Mikayla-"Oh, maybe I am."

While playing the alphabet game on our way to the Mole. 

Rosie- "Let's go through the alphabet with furniture."

Miss Beth- Jesus is standing right here in this room

Rosie- Yeah, He can hear everything that you are saying!

Mikayla- -burps-

Rosie- Yeah He can hear that too!

Morgan-We need to sew pockets into all of our skirts

Emily-Yeah I just need one pocket for my phone

Miss Beth-That's why I wear nurse shirts

Patrick- Also we need shirts with strings so that we can tie on a sombrero!

Emily-A donkey just left the orphanage 

Morgan- Do you want a peanut butter cracker 

-no one responds-

Morgan- There's only two ants per cracker!

Emily-Well, then there is four ants because there are two crackers in a sandwich. 

Mikela-Gabe, stop licking your plate! You don't know what's been on there. 

Miss Beth- Well, hopefully nothing too awful because we all just ate off of these plates. 

Mikela- I have three different laughs, an American laugh, a Haitian laugh, and a donkey laugh. 

Mikela- Everyone has their own chicken. If you have a chicken then you are one of the cool kids. 

Mikela-Everyone on campus has a chicken and a nickname it is so cool. 

In the states you are popular if you have a phone, a car, and your parents let you do whatever you want. Here, you are popular if you have a nickname, a chicken, and people don't even have to like you. 

Mikela-When I walk through town everyone calls my name. even my enemies call my name. 

While Miss Beth and Emily were talking about the many funerals we had one week.

Mikela- We need to be telling more people about Jesus because people are leaving this earth quick. 

As we pulled away from the Mole.

Asher- Don't forget to brush your teeth!

As you can see these kids are pretty hilarious and I cannot wait to see them again in December. 

"The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you."-Jesus Calling

"The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you."-Jesus Calling

In October, it will be three years since God first set my eyes and heart on the Mole. My first answer to God's call to this path was, "Sure, why not?" You can read more about it here: http://holdinghishandonmywaytocompletion.blogspot.com/2011/10/haiti.html

Three years ago, I had no idea that this simple answer would lead me back to Haiti for three summer internships with Northwest Haiti Christian Mission and now...a seven month internship! Yes, SEVEN months! Starting at the end of December, I will move to the Mole and will be serving with NWHCM until August. This is my next step in this path that God has called me to travel and I am SO excited and expectant of all the things that He will teach me in these seven months.

During these seven months, I will continue to work alongside the teams that come to serve in the Mole. In addition to this, I will be fulfilling my Direct Field Experience(DFE) requirements for school and will be doing an additional two three-hour credit DFE courses. I will be doing my DFE under my major's counseling emphasis. I am so amazed at how God is combining both my love and heart to help our kids in the Mole community who are being abused and sexual trafficked with finishing my degree. I will be working with the NWHCM staff in the Mole to develop a model of care and curriculum that we can use to assist and educate our community. I know that this will be a long process and that I will only be laying the ground work. However, I am excited and ready to begin fighting against these layers of darkness and abuse that have plagued this community for generations.

Please join me in praying for these seven months and the months of preparation leading up to my departure. There will be a lot to do to prepare for this trip while I am also completing an eighteen hour semester of college. Although it will be busy, I am so excited and ready to travel this path with God by my side!

Blessings!

Morgan